Goodbye Dad

On November 27th, 2009 my father Calvin Bahns returned home to God after having a massive heart attack at the age of 56. The previous day on Thanksgiving he spent one final Thanksgiving with my family. He was in good spirit and had a wonderful final day on this earth. He did not verbally or physically show any signs of strain through that final day and the cherished pictures I have seen from that day show him happy and loving life as he normally did.

I have wrote this post several times over the past few months and often stared at the blank page wondering how I write this. How do I sum up my father in one blog post. It came to me today (yes it took over two months) to realize it can not be done and shouldn't have to be done in just one! I think of him everyday. Every time I see a classic car, someone tells me a fast random fact, and every time I talk to my family.

It is still hard for me to believe that he is truly gone. He was a terrific father, friend, and mentor. He was kind and respectful to everyone; even people who had wronged him. Thinking back to I can not remember one time, not a single time he has said anything bad about anyone. I really did not realize this until his wake when his friends also recalled the same.

My dad was a very hard worker. You would have to twist his arm to take a day off and no matter what he would go to work even in bad weather or if he was under the weather. A few winters ago he insisted to go to work during one of the worst snow storms in Nebraska that winter. On his way home (midway) there was a white out and the roads were too covered with snow to drive. He pulled his car up beside a building that afternoon and waited until the next morning. Finally the next morning the snow plows came through and the roads were drivable again (at least somewhat). Rather than going home after his night roughing it(which he should have!) in the freezing cold with no food, water, blankets, etc he scooped off his car and returned to work for his next shift. Of course my mom was extremely worried about his where abouts. He called her when he got back to work the following day. Mind you my dad was a simple man when it came to modern technology. He did not have a cell phone or a credit card at the time. Needless to say that following Christmas we gave him both!

My dad taught my siblings and I so many life lessons. He was well rounded in current events and random facts. He loved to read. While living at home I always knew when I came downstairs for breakfast on the weekends I would find my dad sipping coffee and reading the newspaper. He would talk to us those mornings about all sorts of things. From local news to global, cars to football, and random fast facts he had learned that day. My mom would get on him about cutting out articles from the newspaper before she had a chance to read it. Upon returning home for the first time after he passed I looked through a book my mom brought downstairs from his room. It was amazing. My dad kept a journal through the years that I never knew about. It was packed with so much stuff and was such a blessing for us to have. It had articles from the dam being built in Leigh, articles about the pope, and coverage off 9/11. He had notes with his thoughts, things people had told him that inspired him, and entries of those he had loved and lost through the years.

My father made me well rounded. He showed me how to treat others how I would want to be treated. He taught me how to be a good person, a hard worker, to be family oriented, and to take things one day at a time. At his funeral I found myself having such great sympathy for his friends and family he was leaving behind. After the wake my sister Audrey and I were talking and saying "Did you see ______. I felt so bad for him/her. They are taking this really hard." It is still a little crazy to me because there we were grieving over the loss of our father, but still not having great amounts of self pity and being there for others. I know this was because of him. Even in his death his final lesson to me was how to say good bye (for now) to someone you love and how to be strong and comforting to others no matter what the situation is.

I am so thankful for such an amazing father and so grateful my son had the opportunity to meet his grandfather before his passing. (My dad met Vinnie a for the first time the month prior.)

I love you dad and will see you again someday. Each day that passes is a day closer to seeing you again, but until then I promise to live each day to its fullest, remember your life lessons, and carry you with me always. You will be dearly missed by many.


"We little knew that morning that God was going to call your name. In life we loved you dearly, in death we do the same. It broke our hearts to lose you, you did not go alone; for part of us went with you the day God called you home. You left us peaceful memories, your love is still our guide, and though we cannot see you, you are always by our side. Our family chain is broken and nothing seems the same, but as God calls us one by one, the chain will link again."